anyone willing to look over my paper?

A frequently-asked question:

ok I have a paper to wrote on how the students in toni Cade Bambara’s "the Lesson" (http://cai.ucdavis.edu/gender/thelesson.html) are like the Prisoners in plato’s "The Allegory of the cave" (http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/platoscave.html) I got just over a page and need it to be 2-2 1/2 pages long so if anyone has anything to add it will be great. if you which for a file transfer I can do that just email me at frend2go@yahoo.com

here it is (I have separated the paragraphs here to be easily seen)

The students in “the lesson” are chained by there ignorance, in not wanting to change there lives and knowing how the rich live, just as the Prisoners in “the Allegory of the cave” are physically chained to the ground only being able to see what is in front of them. In the story of “the lesson” the students are taken out of there sense of Comfort, just as the person who gets pulled out of there cave in “the Allegory of the cave.” The students in “the lesson” are reluctant to leave there little area of the world just as the freed person who was once enchained in “the Allegory of the cave.”

In “the lesson” the children did not wish to go on this Field trip with Miss Moore they would “rather go to the pool or to a show were it is cool.” (452) they did not want to go out of there neighborhood, just like a gang member would not want to leave his small pond were he is comfortable and go into a bigger pond were they have no control over what goes on in the area, which is also compared to “the prisoner (who) is released and disabused of their error. (who) at first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and … look towards the light… and dragged up a steep and rugged ascent and held fast until he is forced into the presence of the sun,” (1276) in “the allegory of the cave.” When the students get to were they are going they are amazed by what it is they see, just as the prisoner is amazed by the sight of the light sight of the light. The Students are also frightened by being out of there element being in a rich person’s toy store, F.A.O Schwartz. Just as the prisoner would be frightened by the light of the Sun and would not want to go out of his comfort zone, of the cave.

The shadows in “the allegory of the of the cave” are also very significant when comparing the two stories together because in “the lesson” the students are only seeing there shadows of reality while being in there little ghetto of New york city. The students are quick to judge what they see from being outside of the Toy store, such as the “one lady in a fur coat” (453) who by seeing this one person saying “white folks crazy” (453) just as the prisoner would think whatever they saw outside of the cave would look a little crazy to them. Just as if the prisoners were to “look towards the light, he would suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him, and will be unable to see the realities of which in his former state he had seen the shadows; and then conceive some one saying to him, that what he saw before was an illusion” (1276) which the students, who were satisfied staying in there part of the city were satisfied with there illusion of life.

As the children enter the toy store and find what is outside of there cave and learn that there is more to what is out there such as a sailboat, that cost one hundred and ninety-five dollars, and a microscope, that cost three hundred dollars, just as if the prisoners were now free to see what is outside of there cave.

When the students get back to there part of the city Miss Moore is hoping that the kids have learned what is outside of there part of town. Just as the freed prisoner would go into the cave and tell all the other enslaved prisoners what he has seen in the outside world.

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